Groucho Marx said,
“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
My mother once
said she’d wake up feeling like a young woman, then look in the mirror and “get
an awfy surprise.”
My aunt once
said she’d figured out why babies cry when adults lean over their cot: “Everything
falls forward and you have a face like a pudding!”
Today is my 58th
birthday. Part of me goes, “Wow.” Another part goes, “Already?” and another
goes, “Not done yet!” I continue to be a work in progress, though it seems of
late that what progress I’ve made in recent years is being tested in the
crucible of this existence. It’s all fine and well to preach inner peace, faith
and meditation; now’s the time to walk the talk.
I’m also at the age
where parents, mentors, friends and icons being returning Home. The loss of
souls who nurtured and inspired me growing up has been extremely trying. And I’ve
spent more time than is comfortable wallowing in the Slough of Despond—but there
have been bright moments, too: positive change at work, revisiting the music I
loved when it was new, reliving shared history and laughing over the best
memories. I’m old enough now to understand the concept of selective memory, and
am beyond grateful that the bad ones don’t cause the same pain, while the good ones
are as acute as when they were being made. Life is indeed a funny thing.
So here I sit, taking
stock of where I am versus where I was or expected to be, and am okay with it. New
adventures lie ahead, yet there’s enough in the rearview mirror to entertain me
in slow moments, and to prove that I have been generously supported throughout my
journey. I continually long for extended periods of creative production, and trust
it, too, will come in due course. I can, in the meantime, give myself four
hours on a weekend and see what evolves.
Mostly, I have learned
to live only in the present moment and let the gods advise when I need to do
something. Some days are more daunting than others—that’s the joy (?) of being
human—but I’m getting the hang of it now. There’s no rush to master it, either.
I’m still in awe of this beautiful, magical, unpredictable, colourful, wonderful
world.
Happy birthday, Ru.
With love,
