Tuesday 31 December 2013

PHI 4 – VAN 3 (S/O)

December 30, 2008
one day I'll transcribe the journal entry

December 30, 2013: Same outcome as Saturday against Edmonton, but a vastly different game. The Canucks are far better without the puck than the Oilers are; the Flyers had to work for this win. And I mean work. They scored first, but Vancouver got in front of them in the second period. Again, it was a 2-2 tie going into the third (kinda makes the first two-thirds of a game irrelevant, really), where that darned Daniel Sedin got credit for a rebound that went in off Luke Schenn. Luke-frikking-Schenn. Now I know why Dad thought so little of him as a Maple Leaf. He and Braydon Coburn are more help to the opposition than they are to the Flyers, for crying out sideways. Jannik Hansen had scored Vancouver's go-ahead in the second, and Giroux had tied it up in the last minute of the period, but after Sedin's goal with three minutes left in regulation, I feared for my team’s chances. Neither was I appeased by having Hansen on my pool team. I got a point from him, but augh! At what cost?

I think it was around $15.00, actually. After the third Vancouver goal, I started racking up serious penalty dollars for the swear jar. Three minutes left against a gang of defensive masters? This is when the Canucks clamp down on their lead and clog up the neutral zone. All night I watched them hound whichever Flyer had the puck, no one in orange could swing his stick without hitting someone in blue … and getting a penalty for it, %^$#*. Once again, the Flyers are the most penalized team in the league. Talk about the sins of the fathers. The legacy of the Broad Street Bullies has become guilt by association. I watched a bunch of minor infractions on both sides occur within a single play, and who did the refs finally nab? Granted, the Canucks get their fair share of chintzy calls (because they’re whiners, snicker snort), but my father has a point about coincidental tripping/diving penalties. Either a guy is tripped or he’s not. If he is, call the trip. If he dives, call the dive. It should make no damned difference if he flails on his way down, if he’s tripped, he’s going down, ^&%$#*! But Mark Streit got nailed for being tripped simply because he’s a Flyer. &*^%$.

Whoops. Lost my cool there. I digress. Three minutes left and Schenn the Elder accidentally redirects one past Steve Mason – who was utterly faaaaaaaaaabulous, by the way; he kept the Flyers in it while Vancouver peppered him with 42 shots. I take back my comment about inconsistency.

MY BP is hovering near the blackout level as the clock winds down. The final minute is called. The Flyers pull their goalie. There’s an insane scramble in the Canucks’ zone, the puck squirts sideways and lands on the stick of Schenn the Younger – Luke’s little brother, Brayden – who promptly pops it past Eddie Lack. Philadelphia has tied the game! The orange-clad go wild, my peripheral vision dims, and the game goes to overtime.

No joy there, though it was a bit more exciting than the Saturday night OT. Vancouver wanted to finish before the shootout and Philly had to play along. To no avail, however. Neither team scored, so to the shootout we go.

Mike Santorini vs. Steve Mason. Mason makes the save. Yay!

Vincent Lecavalier vs. Eddie Lack. Vinnie scores. Yay!!

Ryan Kesler vs. Steve Mason. Mason doesn’t have to make the save; Kes fakes a shot then loses the puck before he can launch it. Phew.

Claude Giroux vs. Eddie Lack. Lack makes the save. *$&%^.

Daniel Sedin vs. Steve Mason. Yikes. But Mason stays with the play … and Philadelphia wins in the shootout!!!!!!

Celebration ensues, during which I collapse in my chair and realize that I haven’t taken a full breath (except to swear) since the puck dropped in OT. I’ve watched three Philadelphia games in a week. That’s more than I often see in a season. They won all three, by brute force and dumb luck, but they seem to have gained some momentum heading in the second half of the season. They’re in Calgary tonight then off to Colorado on the 2nd, so I likely won’t see them again for a while. It’s kind of a relief, actually. My heart can’t take much more live action.

Neither can my wallet. After last night, I’ll have to ask if Ter can break a twenty.

Sunday 29 December 2013

PHI 4 - EDM 3 (S/O)

My heroes!


Interesting game last night. The Flyers won—just. They had to go to a shootout to break a 3-3 tie, but thanks to a savvy coach, a couple of unfamiliar players, and a disdainful Claude Giroux, they nailed the second point.

The controversy came in the form of Ilya Bryzgalov, the 51 million dollar goalie whom the Flyers let go when he failed to prove as consistent for them as he did with Phoenix. He was nearing the end of his Coyotes contract and Philly bought the free agent act. Not that he’s a bad goalie, because he isn’t. He’s actually pretty darned fabulous when he wants to be. Or when he has a decent defence corps in front of him (that’s the other controversy in Philadelphia). The Flyers bought him out for a meager 25 million during the off season and he subsequently signed with Edmonton. Last night was his first game against his old team and let’s just say if he had played that well in Philadelphia, he’d still be playing in Philadelphia. As it was, last night Philly paid him roughly $27,000 to stop 35 shots for the Oilers. Oh, the irony.

Meh. Truth is, the Flyers didn’t show up for the first period, the Oilers forgot to come back for the second, and we started from a 2-2 tie in the third. If not for a bunch of dumb Oiler penalties, the Flyers would have lost, since their three goals came on power plays and the third was the result of a 5 on 3. Poor Ter was having a heart attack, being the lone Oiler fan for the occasion. The kids burst out of the gate in the first period and after that … well, the shootout might have been planned given the setup of Bryz vs. his former teammates. You could see him anticipating almost every move during the game, otherwise the Flyer would have killed the kids. So, what better ending than a showdown between sides of the ugliest divorce in the NHL?

I wasn’t quite fetal in my chair, but Bryzgalov is a better goalie than Steve Mason. No discredit to Mason, he’s steady enough but not – here we go again – that consistent. Plus, Bryz knows the Flyer shooters better than Mason knows the Oilers. And the Oilers have some tricky young bucks on their top two lines. Yikes. I wasn’t fetal, but I was worried.

First round. Jordan Eberle scores first. No surprise. Vincent Lecavalier shoots first for Philly – he wasn’t on the team last year, but Bryz stops him anyway. Crap.

Second round. Mason stops David Perron. Phew. Claude Giroux steps out. I love Giroux, but wait a second. The coach sends out the best player the Flyers have? The guy who played with Bryzgalov for two years?? The guy whom Bryz knows better than any other goalie in the league? Heart in mouth, I watch No. 28 cruise up the ice and casually flip the puck through the five hole. That’s how good he is. Surgical precision and no real expression – not open contempt, but you could almost sense the sneer. Now we’re tied (again).

Third round. Sam Gagner can’t get past Steve Mason. If the Flyers score now, we win. The coach sends out Austrian wunderkind, Michael Raffl. This guy is fresh from Europe, already on the top line, and totally unknown to any Flyer ex-goalie. Brilliant move, coach. I can’t even describe the goal, it was that pretty. He foxed Bryz right out of the crease. I let out the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding and Ter graciously give me a congratulatory high-five. She’s the classiest hockey fan I know.

Yeah, yeah, it’s just a game. I was simply thrilled to be watching my boys on Saturday night instead of Tuesday afternoon. I’ve seen them a few times already this season, thanks to TSN2, and they’re en route to Vancouver to play the Canucks tomorrow night. Another evening game in my time zone against another goalie with his own agenda (this one, auditioning for the Olympics). How will they do? Right now, I don’t care. Right now I’m just happy that the game is on Sportsnet. Ryan Kesler vs. Giroux and Co.

Life is good.

Saturday 28 December 2013

Hockey Night in Canada

 
 
vs
 

Does my life get any better than this? Not today!!! The late game on HNIC and I am SO THERE!!!

Musings

My first writerly Christmas tree ornament!

No story this week. I have yet to decide which way to go with the next serial. I’d like to post something new, but haven’t got anything new to post. We’ll see what I can do with two more weeks of vacation.

Now that the seasonal festivities have ended, I can devote more attention to Shade. I’ve felt him drifting in the mental background; given time and some solitude, I’ll get his story in writing. There’s a song called “Breathe Me” on Sarah Brightman’s latest album that is so powerful it might be him singing in her voice. Often I will hear a lyric that suggests a character in such condensed detail, I am compelled to expand on the theme and bring him to life. Strangely, Shade himself has not caused any real trouble, though he isn’t as I had originally envisioned him. The other characters are starting to come, crossing wires and messing up the backstory as they emerge. That means some rewriting, some relocating, and some plain – I hate this most of all – deleting. I have yet to accept that it’s okay to write a thousand words and use none. This story will be worth the blood and angst, I think. It’s only that it’s been so long since I’ve tackled a whole new cast in a whole new world and every step I take seems to be on quicksand.

Cristal and her plastic Pony-driving lover are on indefinite hold. Her story seems to be more of a comedy, which is brutally difficult to write well and is not my literary forte. At least Shade isn’t leading me too far off my usual twisty-turny-tragic-romance path. His darkness seems a good fit for winter writing. Maybe Cristal’s story will be less daunting come spring/summer.

As for the novel … kill me now.

I also want to revisit the Cassandra series from a dozen years back, to get that into some sort of shape and resolve the calamities that were left hanging when Lucius took over my life.

Then there’s the Julian series to a) tidy up and b) continue in the present day.

Once the novel is done, the next in that series awaits, too. So much to write, so little time in which to write. I am my own worst enemy in that regard. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but perhaps I should start. In 2014, I will write more!!!

Friday 27 December 2013

Mince Tarts



Neither of us can say exactly when it started, but my wee sister has baked mince tarts for me every Christmas since … I think before she had her kids. The badgering starts in November.

Me: “I’m getting tarts, right?”

She (rolling eyes and sighing): “Yeeeees.”

“ ’Cause I don’t care about getting anything else.”

Heavier, dare I say beleagured, sigh. “Yeeeees.”

She has asked why it matters so much, but I’m unable to tell her. I use the pastry as an excuse. Light, flaky, crispy in all the right places. Yum. She always looks puzzled and says, “I just follow the recipe,” sounding hopeful that if I try it, I might quit bugging her and make the darned things myself.

I have tried and I haven’t quit and so the annual tradition continues. Gods bless her, despite chronic pain, scrambling to do Christmas for her own family, and working fulltime to December 24, she always manages to get the tarts done. Last year, she shoved the snowflake tin at me and growled, “Here’re your freakin’ tarts.” To which I replied with a gleeful squeal, clutching the tin to my chest, “Thanks, kid!”

This November (or is it last November?), I reluctantly let her off the hook. Gluten-free means no more light flaky crispy pastry, so when the inevitable Christmas prep talk came up, I thought she’d be relieved to hear that she was no longer obliged to bake for me. I wasn’t wholly sure, but she seemed disappointed. We talked a bit more about the diet and she wondered if it might help relieve her inflammation, then we let the matter go.

On December 19, while standing in line at the coffee shop, she told me that Mum and Dad would do her prezzie drop this year, as they were coming to my place for tea on Christmas Eve. I nodded and said I’d figured as much, given time constraints and whatnot. Then she said, “Oh, and I baked your mince tarts.”

I stared at her. “What? How?”

“Gluten-free pastry mix. They look like hell, but they’re tart-shaped. You say it’s about the pastry, so I don’t know if they’ll be any good …”

I would have thrown myself into her arms and burst into overwhelmed tears, but our family doesn’t operate that way. I kept my cool (I hope) instead, joking, “I can always pour custard on them.”

Custard being the ubiquitous fix for any substandard sweet.

When the tin arrived with the parents on Christmas Eve, yep, it was heavy as an Olympic dumbbell weight and the contents were indeed tart-shaped, but they didn’t look as bad as she had described. I did my usual thing and waited until teatime on Christmas Day before sampling one. The crust was crumbly rather than flaky, more a short crust than a pie crust. It held up under fork pressure and the mincemeat was as thick and sticky and spicy and delicious as always. The custard was just a nice addition, not a covert necessity. In fact, this year’s tarts taste better than in all the years previous.

Know why?

She didn’t have to do it, but she did it anyway. She found a way to bake me my Christmas mince tarts. She knows it’s not about pastry, or even about tradition. It’s about love.

Thanks, wee ’un.


Thursday 26 December 2013

Little Dickens



On Christmas Eve, after the socializing is done, after the prezzies are wrapped and under the tree, after the pre-show viewing of “Merry Christmas Mr, Bean”, we pop “Scrooge” into the player and settle down to await our favourite moments. When you’ve seen a film that many times, there’s nothing new to be discovered … right?

Maybe. Maybe not. This year, I came away with a finer understanding of a story I’ve know my whole life. I enjoyed the movie as always (my favourite segment is Christmas Present), but my recent chanting of “let the past go” tripped me up a bit during the telling. If the past can’t be changed, I thought, why bother to revisit it?

Duh. It can’t be changed, but you can still learn from it. We are each a product of our past. History shows how we came to be – Ebenezer Scrooge was quite plainly fashioned in his youth to become the miserable old coot so brilliantly played by Alastair Sim. Ironically, he learned to fear loneliness and poverty so well that he became lonely and lived like a pauper despite the wealth he obtained in pursuit of … not happiness, exactly, but security and comfort. Christmas Past demonstrated that quite clearly, especially when Alice said to him, “You fear the world too much.” She had it right, though he argued intellectually that living defensively is the best protection against insecurity and discomfort.

I guess you could say that fear of the future changed his mind and thus changed his ways; again, maybe so, and maybe not. I saw his heart softening through the course of his night, he just thought himself too old for any change to make a difference. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I learned to articulate three things from “Scrooge” this year:

We are shaped by our past but not bound by it.

No one is ever too old to affect his future.

All we have is now.

So …

Release the past.

Embrace the present.

Change the future.

And God bless us, every one.


Monday 23 December 2013

The Memory Tree


A friend once referred to our Christmas tree as “a f***ing soap opera tree”. He spoke in awe and with some envy, as by then our tree had evolved from a fake Scotch pine with bottle-brush branches (say that three times fast) to a stately fake blue spruce laden with ornaments fit for the set of a daytime drama. Our collection grew in earnest after 1991, when Ter brought home two new ornaments and another holiday tradition was born.

The tradition has fallen by the wayside of late, mostly because the tree ain’t getting any bigger and the ornaments were getting out of hand, but I’m okay with that. I look fondly on every decoration because, for most of them, a memory is attached.

Like the Heineken beer mat from the pub where some work friends and I had Christmas drinks. Or the silly snowmen that came in east coast Christmas packages from Nicole. Jules’ bells and jingle bells. A blown glass angel from my wee sister and a sparkly handmade pine cone from a good friend. We have a ton of Tiggers, a couple Captains (Jack Sparrow and James T Kirk), some Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeers and a collection of oldies culled from our family trees when we were kids. The unicorn from a craft fair; the shiny grapes Ter loved as a child; the sun, the moon and lots of stars just because we like them. I look at our tree and see more than a set designer’s finest hour. I look at our tree and see history. Good times. Loved ones. I don’t recall what ornament came in which year anymore, but it doesn’t matter. The tree connects me to my past and gives me a memory for the future. Forward, backward or sitting in the moment, no matter which way I look, the view is a pretty one.

Sunday 22 December 2013

The First Day of Winter



Cold. Grey. Damp. Appropriate for midnight in the natural year. All is quiet. Trees are still, birds are notably absent. It should feel disturbing, but it doesn’t. The world is only asleep. Dreaming. We are the things of forced activity and deliberate wakefulness, yet many of us – despite the drive to motion – are somnambulant.

I don’t officially celebrate the solstice, but I am aware. In some places and some cultures, December 21 marks the turning point, the end of the old year and the start of a new. The rebirth of the annual cycle begins. Candles are lit to ward off the dark. Wishes are made and the past is released. My day passed as usual, but for a split-second hidden within the blink of my eye, the world paused in its orbit, let go of the past, and proceeded into the future.

The sun rose a bit earlier this morning.


Saturday 21 December 2013

“Silver From Gold (Conclusion)”



She and the babe remained in the sanctuary for a few days. Tero continued his regular visits, but Mami was committed to attend other labours and could not come to the citadel as often as she would have liked. Finally, Tero lost his temper.
“You know, Mami could see him every day if you brought him home.”
Analise said nothing. She drew her knees up tighter and settled the babe more securely at her breast. He had a hearty appetite, being blissfully unaware of the controversy in his existence. He slept peacefully, and yipped or mewled rather than squalled or wailed.
“You’re safely delivered,” Tero went on. “You can’t hide the babe in this little room forever, either.”
“I’m not hiding.”
“What do you call it? Waiting? I’ve told you: Luko isn’t coming back.”
“I’m not waiting for Luko,” she said.
He almost tore out a handful of curls in frustration. “Then who are you waiting for, dimwit?”
“She’s waiting for me—is that not so, little wolf?”
She and Tero both looked to the door. Poppi stood at the threshold, serious but not sheepish as his gaze met his daughter’s. His eyes were his most eloquent feature, large and dreamily blue in a face that, like Tero’s, was almost too beautiful to be male.
“May I come in?” he asked.
Analise nodded. He paused to banish Tero, adding that he shut the door when he left. This brought a smile to Ana’s lips. Her brother was notorious for listening at keyholes, but she had not suspected that Poppi knew of his habit. Tero merely looked affronted and made a great show of closing the door behind him. An odd silence descended, punctuated by the babe’s businesslike suckling and the occasional snap-crackle from the fire.
“Your mother tells me that you did very well.”
“Why didn’t you come sooner?” Analise asked, unable to bear the trifles.
“I was here on the night,” Poppi replied. “I was just outside the door, like your brother is now. Had anyone tried to interfere, they would have had to kill me first.” He stepped closer, a smile already forming as he observed the babe in his daughter’s arms. “How is he?”
“Very much like his father, Mami says.”
“Not so discontented, though. There’s a relief. His father was born raging. I wouldn’t wish a raging child on you for all the pearls in the ocean.” Without awaiting invitation, Poppi put out his hands and scooped the babe from Ana’s grasp. The little fellow protested at his breakfast being disturbed, but his grandfather stroked a finger over his cheek and quieted him. “Reijo,” he said, softly. He cocked a brow at Analise. “Do you object?”
She had no idea what to say. The name was wonderful as its previous owner had been wonderful. She felt somewhat shamed that the tribute had not occurred to her when her grandfather had been so kind an influence.
“I know,” Poppi said. “You were no doubt struggling to honour Luko’s family with a name, but you forget that we are Luko’s family. My father was particularly fond of him—or should I say, concerned for him. He would be delighted with this little pup.”
“Then it’s right that we name the babe for him,” Analise said.
“Thank you, my girl.”
She shrugged, unaccountably awkward in her father’s presence when she was completely capable in everyone else’s. Poppi seemed as discomfited, though he hid it better by doting on the babe. The irony in so much fuss being made over the child he had pretended to ignore before birth hung thick in the air.
“Do you plan to raise him in this little room?” Poppi finally inquired.
“This is the safest place in Irfeu,” Analise said.
“I agreed with you, until the other night. Now that the babe is born and you are well, it’s time to come home.”
Much as Analise longed to return to her father’s house, she remained unsure of her son’s safety beyond the sanctuary walls. In truth, very little was certain, except the scandal she and the child must endure before Noni claimed him for Irfe.
Poppi listened patiently, idly stroking Reijo’s cheek with his finger as Analise admitted her fear of what awaited between now and the naming. Once the babe’s gift was confirmed, he would be known as Irfe’s Reijo and due respect would be given. Until then, he must abide as Analise’s Reijo, and folk were less tolerant of children born to unwed mothers. No physical harm would befall him, of course, but Analise distrusted Noni for reasons even she could not identify. It was as if Luko’s blood had granted her a semblance of his ability to sense pending danger.
“No one can trust Noni,” Poppi said, flatly. “Many do, but they know no better. Analise, be prepared for her to deny that your pup is gifted. She must name him because she is shamir and no one else has the right, but she may very well ignore the presence of Fire until she has no other choice.”
Analise was appalled. “Poppi, she has no other choice! Luko sired this babe through a blood vow with me. I know that my son gifted. I know it!”
Poppi silenced her with a forefinger. “Because the ritual is a private matter, there is much public rumour to the contrary. Besides, I have it on good authority that Noni seeks a spark in Rikka. If she succeeds, then Luko’s sister will be named Irfe’s Heir and Luko himself might never have been born.”
Ana’s fiery spirit reared in a panic. “She cannot succeed!”
“Naturally,” Poppi said, calmly. “Noni, however, must discover this for herself. Until she does, we must be mindful of your pup’s gift and do our best to protect him from it. This child is the future of Irfe’s Children. His time will come, little wolf. When it does, I will be ready.”
A chilled hand caught Ana by the throat, squeezing her voice to a whisper. “What will you do?”
“I will handle Noni. You needn’t know more than that.”
When Poppi spoke so coldly, Analise knew she would get no further—nor did she want to. A greater relief than she had known in the wake of Reijo’s birth threatened to overwhelm her now. Poppi might have been difficult during her term, but she had relied on him her whole life for comfort and security, and he had never failed her. He had struggled for Luko, with Luko and thus with her, and her perception had been tainted because of it. She had grown up with Luko as a brother, all the while knowing he was not, that he was different, and that Poppi had been unable, in the end, to spare him the battle with Irfe’s Noni.
He smiled when she tearfully asked his forgiveness. “My precious girl,” he rumbled, his voice unnaturally hoarse. “There is nothing you can do that will require my forgiveness. It is I who must beg yours. I know how deeply you loved Luko. In truth, you were the best choice for him; had you not been my daughter, I would have done my all to seal the match. My fear was solely for your happiness, Analise. There is no pleasure in being proved right, believe me.”
Analise did. It was equally important that he understand what Luko had meant to her. “I was happy with him, Poppi. I was never happier, and if those few weeks were all the gods intended, then I regret nothing. They may have stolen Luko, but they left me with his son.”
A cheerful yap from within the shawl earned a wistful smile and a tender kiss from Ana’s father. He lingered at the babe’s brow, his eyes briefly closing as he breathed the scent of new life. Analise stayed silent in the window bay, watching him relive a memory. Which of the four babes he had raised came to mind when he nuzzled little Reijo? She could guess, but not know, for she would not ask. 

* * *

 Tero was summoned to help pack her things. There were not many, and what gifts had come for Reijo were easily tucked into the basket Mami had brought on the morning of Ana’s labour. The babe remained in his grandfather’s care, at his grandfather’s insistence and with his mother’s blessing.
Analise dressed in the same garb she had worn when she arrived, the skirt now loose about her middle and the blouse almost snug over her breasts. She hesitated by the clothes chest as her brother haphazardly stuffed gowns and nappies into the babe’s basket. When his back was turned, she grabbed the last of Luko’s shirts. She would have buried it amid Reijo’s things, but Tero, curse him, caught her at the last instant. “What’s this?” he teased, whipping it from her hand.
“Give it back! Tero!”
Poppi promptly intervened. “Leave her be, young pup. It’s nothing to you.”
And everything to me. She snatched it back from Tero, bundling it into her blouse rather than risk him “accidentally” losing it. “Thank you, Poppi.”
He gave his son the special hard look reserved solely for juvenile nonsense. Undaunted, Ana’s brother blithely finished packing the basket and gallantly proffered her cloak. “It’s time to go home, dimwit.”
Home. Analise surveyed the room where her life had been forever changed and wondered if she would ever return. She might, she thought, if he ever did. She might also bring Reijo to visit. Once his gift was confirmed and he was named Irfe’s Heir, he might choose to keep these rooms for himself. He would know their significance; she would see to that.
Noni waited in the outer room. Analise had neither seen nor spoken with her since the unpleasant exchange preceding Reijo’s birth, but it followed that Noni would be kept apprised of all that occurred beneath her roof, whether or not she approved. Spotting the old woman nearly sent her fleeing back to the sanctuary, but she would not go without her babe and Poppi was firmly in possession of him. Analise suddenly saw the wisdom in Poppi’s insistence. Tero saw it, too. He caught his sister’s elbow in one hand, staying her while the elders squared off.
“Come to claim your daughter’s bastard, Jarkko?”
“I’ve come to take him home, Noni. I know he’s unwanted here.”
The glittering green eyes lit briefly on Analise, who tipped her chin and met them. “I’ve done my part,” Noni said. “I shall have these rooms scrubbed clean by nightfall.”
“They could use it,” Poppi agreed. “My thanks for your hospitality toward my daughter.”
“I do not intend to set a precedent for other dishonoured women.”
“You mean whores,” Tero snapped, unable to curb his temper.
“If you insist. She is your sister, after all.”
“And Luko was my brother!”
“I know what Luko was, Antero. What he was not is the father of that child. Consent was neither requested nor granted, therefore the blood vow allegedly sworn between your sister and my grandson is null.”
Poppi put up a hand. “You have made that clear on countless occasions, Noni. We submit to Irfe’s judgement on the matter. However, the child must be named, and as his mother is a daughter of Irfe, Irfe must agree to protect and defend him.”
“So he will, to the best of his Children’s ability. May I ask what name you have chosen? Not ‘Luko’, I hope.”
“That’s reserved for Rikka’s son,” Analise spoke up, rashly.
Poppi heaved the sigh of a man cursed with obstinate children. “Ana has agreed to name him for my father.”
“ ‘Reijo’? That seems meet. Let me see him.”
Ana’s heart sprang into her throat as Noni stepped forward and Poppi did not retreat. Little Reijo had been dozing. On Noni’s approach, he woke as if sensing he was about to be put on display and must greet his visitor as good manners dictated. Tero’s hand tightened on Ana’s arm. She froze in place, her heart beating so wildly that she could barely breathe. Poppi tipped the bundle in his arms so Noni could better see the babe. To everyone’s amazement, Noni’s shoulders relaxed, revealing a tension that none had suspected until it was released.
“He’s silver,” she said.
“He’s a wolf,” Tero growled. Poppi frowned at him, but Ana’s brother remained on guard, practically snarling at Luko’s grandmother.
“Very much his mother’s son,” Noni observed. “The father is not obvious at all. Let me hold him, Jarkko. I assure you, I have held newborns before.”
Ana’s heart ceased its frenetic pulsing. Her breath died with it, but she called on the blood she shared with Luko to thwart the old woman’s intention and defend her child if need be. Her touch was inelegant but effective; Noni sensed enough to be distracted. Her eyes darted to Ana’s, and just as speedily dismissed her. Poppi had surrendered the babe.
Only a dolt would have done the child harm in his mother’s presence. Irfe’s Noni smiled and cooed, even chuckling when Reijo thrust a tiny hand from his wrapping as if in friendly salute. She offered a forefinger which the babe obligingly clasped. Analise stiffened. Luko had shown her how a Fire probe worked, teaching that physical contact took less effort and gleaned more accurate results. Noni sought something in the babe she cuddled; Analise felt a flooding warmth that narrowed like a tributary to a bright hot needle aimed at her son.
Reijo giggled, kicking gleefully. Whatever Noni’s gift revealed seemed to satisfy her, for her smile softened further. She nibbled the minute fingers clasping hers before she handed the babe to his mother. “I will name him at the new moon,” she declared grandly, bestowing a benevolent favour on this pitiful girl and her bastard child.
Analise remembered her manners. “Thank you, Noni.”
“He’ll no doubt be a worthy heir to the family business, Jarkko,” the old woman added, speaking as if Tero was absent or inconsequential—or both. Her meaning was plain on a deeper level: she had found no evidence to support Ana’s claim that Luko had fathered the child, therefore Reijo would be named neither shamir nor Irfe’s Heir, but would bear his mother’s name until … when?
Poppi was a master at playing the humble servant, though Noni was unlikely fooled. He tipped his head in gratitude, thanked the old woman once more for her kindness, then herded his family from her presence. 

* * *

The babe was named “Analise’s Reijo” on the new moon. As Poppi had predicted, the gift his mother knew he possessed went unaddressed by the one who should have recognized and embraced it on behalf of Irfe’s Children. The proud grandparents hosted the naming feast attended by friends, neighbours, associates and the like. None of Luko’s family came. Noni, who had stabbed his heel and tasted his blood and proclaimed him a Child of Light before invited guests, did not linger to celebrate the newcomer. When twilight dimmed and the last well-wisher had departed, Analise kissed her parents and her brother, then carried her pride and joy up to bed.
He had behaved beautifully throughout the day; she was sure his father had not been so congenial at his naming, but Reijo was a contented babe who showed every sign of being the most good-natured and accommodating member of the pack. Analise put him to her breast, but though he took her nipple in his mouth, he soon let it pop free.
She smiled into his eyes. Their colour had changed in the past few days, losing the milky sapphire hue to a sharper, clearer shade of blue-green. In a few weeks, they would lose the blue altogether and become eyes of the gifted, the green shamir eyes that spoke of elemental power granted for the betterment of all the tribe. He will be a good leader, she thought; a caring, compassionate ruler possessed of genuine warmth and deep loyalty to those in his charge. Noni’s plan to rouse Fire in Rikka was outrageous. A gift could not be planted in one born without it, and eventually Noni would be forced to accept what she presently refused to contemplate. In the meantime, little Reijo belonged solely to his adoring mother.
“What did she see when she looked behind your eyes?” she asked the child, who answered with a bored yawn.
“She did not see what she sought, little wolf. That may be what saved him.”
Analise glanced up, breaking into a grin. Poppi had made a habit of stopping by her room before retiring for the night—the man unable to grasp that his daughter was with child had fallen so deeply in love with that child that being parted from him was a trial. “What do you mean?” she asked.
“Simply that Noni is not the paragon of elemental expertise she expects us to believe,” Poppi replied. He drew near the bed, his eyes misty on his grandson’s face. “Magic is a mysterious thing, my girl. This little pup guards a trove of secrets we mortals may only guess at. Your mother says all babes are gifted, and she may be right—I dare not contradict her in such matters—but the gods know how to preserve their own. Reijo is destined to rule Irfeu once Noni is gone. Our duty is to keep him safe and teach him what you and I know best: that love is the most powerful gift of all.”
Analise swallowed rather than shed tears. Reijo spied his grandfather’s face above him and uttered a squeal that demanded action. Smiling, Poppi gently plucked the babe from his wrapping and set him on a shoulder, cupping the silvery head in one hand.
“Luko was not my son,” he said, gravely, “but this child is my grandson. I will not fail Reijo as I failed his father, I swear.”
“Yes, Poppi,” Analise whispered.
“Have you heard anything from him since the babe arrived?”
“No, Poppi. Not before, either.”
Poppi gave her a narrow look, but she held fast under scrutiny. Her resilience earned a tilted smile as he acquiesced to the fact that she may be lying; that she would do so straight-faced without a ripple did him proud. He kissed the babe, then returned him to his mother and kissed her, as well.
“Sleep well, my cubs.”
“I love you, Poppi.”
He quietly shut the door when he left. Analise tried again to have Reijo suckle; this time, he obliged. While he fed, his mother drew up her knees and cuddled him, reflecting on her father’s talk. His regret over Luko was sincere, just as his promise to protect Luko’s son was sincere, but Analise had perceived the unspoken point that preserving Reijo’s birthright would be easier without Luko present to rile the old woman at the citadel. Now Poppi was free to campaign for Reijo. The babe himself would be an asset, being neither golden nor raging. Noni’s pretence of fawning was less a strain on her; perhaps in time she could be convinced to take and teach the pup to succeed her. And then …
Ana drove the incomplete thought from her mind. She gazed on her silver pup and glimpsed vague signs of Luko in his budding features, the slanted eyes and dimpled smile, the proud nose and firm jaw. He might be Irfe’s chosen. He might be Poppi’s grandson. He might be the future of Irfe’s Children and the peak of her family’s ambition—but to his mother, to Jarkko’s Analise, he was the son of Irfe’s Luko, and she would fight to preserve that truth if it cost her last breath.
Bracing the babe in one arm, she climbed out of bed and carried him to the chest beneath the window. One-handed, she raised the lid and dug about until she found the thing she sought. Reijo squeaked on losing her nipple and threatened to voice greater displeasure when she stripped him of his gown. She smiled. He promptly abandoned his argument. A remarkable babe, to be so responsive so young. A miracle child, she thought, wrapping him in his father’s shirt. She hefted him once more, smiling broadly into his eyes. “You are Luko’s son,” she said, firmly.
Reijo gazed serenely into her face, and smiled.

THE END

December 28, 2008

Wednesday 18 December 2013

Puck Up



Checking the stats yesterday morning (I’ve been unable to bear looking of late), I discovered my Rogues in 8th place rather than floating, as usual, at the bottom of the hockey pool. Egads, thinks I, Ryan Kesler is my saviour! Kes at his best is a warrior in every sense of the word; I was surprised that no one picked him during the office draft in October. Forgetting that he’s had more surgery and accumulated more stitches than Frankenstein’s monster over the past few years, I scooped him for my team as soon as I realized I’d bulked up on too many Flyers. The wait for him to get momentum was excruciating, but now that he’s got it, he’s my most dependable player.

So I thought.

I consulted the league scoring stats to prove his prowess. Turns out he’s not my most dependable player. That honour falls to Black Hawks’ captain, Jonathan Toews, who sits in 17th spot on the list. Kes comes in 45th, with two of my wildest players positioned in between: Taylor Hall (33rd) and Mike Richards (43rd) – the kid who plays like a maniac and the maniac who plays like a kid. Hall has been injured once already and still has more points than Claude Giroux.

*sigh*

It’s been painful to watch Philadelphia so far this season. A rematch of the 2010/11 Stanley Cup final against Chicago last week was a romp for the Hawks. Final score 7-2. The insult here was that Philly scored first! I’m not sure what got the Hawks going, but they burst into the lead with 5 goals on 15 shots while Ray Emery flailed in search of his defensemen. Where were they? In the penalty box, mostly. When Luke Schenn and Jay Rosehill got busted for roughing and gave Chicago a two minute 5 on 3, I remembered that they used to play for Toronto. I think they still do.

I don’t remember what number goal was scored while they cooled their heels. It got to be a blur. The Black Hawks deserve their first place spot in the league; they’re fun to watch if you dislike their opposition. When they play Vancouver, I confess I’m a little torn. The Canucks will never be my team, but I like a few of their players. Kesler, for sure. Kevin Bieksa and Jason Garrison can play my blue line any time they want. In fact, Garrison is on my pool team. And where is he in the league standings? 91st, with three fewer points than He Who Was Supposed To Be My Big Gun, Claude Giroux.


If only.


Tuesday 17 December 2013

Auto Biography IX


Jules’ Bells

a fine set of wheels
Jules was bought brand-spanking-new – three months before the blizzard of 1996 hit. A friend had said that if you can imagine yourself thinking that's a fine set of wheels some years down the road, then you should buy the car now. I looked into the parking lot on the morning of December 28 and saw nothing but a rumpled snowscape with a solitary red taillight peering balefully through the virgin white. I nearly had a heart attack.

You can’t own a car for 14 years and not have a hatful of tales to tell when you’re done. Jules took Ter and me on some grand adventures during his time with us, many of which will be their own Auto Bio posts. He was a ‘96 Chev Camaro, black, standard 5-speed, low, sleek, witchy-eyed and gorgeous even after he was well past paid off. I still see versions of him on the street and admire each one as it cruises past. It’s hard to believe that the model is almost 20 years old. I won’t call it a classic, but it sure was purty. And because he was ours, Jules was the purtiest of them all.

Living in a Victorian mansion from 1993 had turned us into froufrou junkies and our mutual love of Christmas eventually spilled out into the car. Ter had noticed ornaments hanging from the rearview mirror in parked cars and thought it would be cool to dress up the Camaro in kind. An annual tradition was for us to each buy a special decoration for the tree; on one year’s outing, we bought Jules his bells. They were tied with a red ribbon to his mirror, and every time he hit a dip or a bump, he’d jingle. Such a merry sound, it was destined to keep us in the holiday spirit no matter how crappy the weather or dismal our mood. With that many bells tingling on the string, you had to be a king-sized Grinch to stay grouchy.

Inevitably, the old horse began to fail and in the spring of 2010, we replaced him with another brand new vehicle, one better-suited to Ter’s work commute and my old bones. When it came time to pull out the Christmas decorations that year, we found Jules’ bells wrapped in their crunchy tissue, waiting to be strung from his rearview mirror. There was no question, either. They were his bells; they wouldn’t be hung in the new car.

Now we hang them on our tree.

Monday 16 December 2013

Christmas Cards

RutsOriginal Xmas Cards 2013

At last. The cards are done! Usually they’re in the mail and received by now, but it seems this year everything is late but Christmas Day itself. Even my annual panic over theme and rhyme came later … though it was no less acute. I suffer it every year. My card deadline looms and I have nothing in the tank. Then, an inkling stirs. Then nothing more for a day or two. Then the first poem comes in a rush, soon followed by a complementing cartoon. If I’m lucky, I’ll get two more in rapid succession. That might be all for another couple of days, but it’s enough to get me rolling. I do eight cards a year, for family and dear friends. Once I hit the halfway point, the rest but one comes easily. The last one brews in my head while I finish up the others. All told, I completed 2013’s batch in roughly twenty-four hours, spread over a week or so. I fretted over the dry spell for days. I’ve been doing this for years. You’d think I’d know by now to trust the process, but a writer is never sure that the block won’t last forever.

The best part is that I have great fun once I’m in the zone. I’ve been told that the cards themselves are the gift (which is reassuring, since a card is often all the recipient will get), but the pleasure of creating them is also a gift.

And so are the people for whom I make them.

Saturday 14 December 2013

“Silver from Gold (Part III)”




Luko possessed none of the flirtatious charm that Tero wielded with such ease. His laugh was rare and his smile, though more frequent, was often touched by the darkness that plagued him. He won his way by force, whether with a look or a word depended on the circumstance. Analise had loved him from her earliest memory, and at the dawn of his eighteenth year, he admitted that he felt the same for her.
Analise would have taken him without the blood bond. Luko was the one to insist otherwise. He loved her. He would wed her. He would father her children. He would protect her. He would rule with her. He spoke so boldly, so surely, in their quiet moments that she believed him without question. Wedding before swearing the blood vow would be wiser, but his strategy was to make his choice impossible for Noni to dispute. There was the trouble, that Noni had neither been consulted nor consented. Ana took what care she could against conceiving, but in the weeks following the blood vow, concealing their bond became increasingly more difficult.
The final feast of that summer’s festival was moved indoors when an unseasonable cloudburst erupted over the green that afternoon. Events held in the citadel’s main hall were normally more formal; instead of picnicking with friends on the grass, folk were seated in family groups at long tables. Irfe’s Noni always presided from the high table, with her grandchildren flanking her. Luko had planned to eat with Ana and her family, and would have done so had the weather not conspired against him; recently thwarted in their attempts to find time together, he was as impatient to be with her as she was to be with him. From her seat on the main floor, she watched him behave as protocol demanded, but he was restless and barely able to hold his temper when it seemed Noni meant to prolong the festivities.
His grip on Fire was often tenuous; the element hissed and sparked when he was roused as it never did with his grandmother. Shamir senses were heightened by wild weather, however, and Noni herself appeared disturbed. She ignored Rikka and goaded Luko, whose mind was made clear to Analise when his eyes deliberately sought hers in the crowd. There was the look she dared not disobey, the simmering, savage look that pierced her vitals and drew her to her feet by no will of her own.
She took the back stairs to the second floor, darting along the gallery to his rooms. He was waiting in the sanctuary. Surprised, she blurted a stupid question. “How did you get here before me?”
“I took the main stairs,” he replied, pulling her into his arms. If his kiss was meant to reassure her, it foiled them both by devouring her, instead. She responded with equal fervour though her thoughts scrambled to reconcile his blatant disregard for their agreement.
“Noni saw me leave the hall,” she gasped.
He growled into her mouth. “Good.”
“Luko—”
“Analise, it’s time.”
His statement encompassed many things, the most obvious of which sent her fingers to his laces. He stopped her with a hand on her wrist.
“You know what I mean,” he said.
Swallowing fear, she nodded.
“Don’t be afraid, mi’scha.”
“I’m not.”
He smiled, pride momentarily overcoming purpose. “You cannot lie to me.”
“I can try,” she countered.
He brought her hand to his lips. “The crone can’t harm you, not while I am breathing. You are my blood-bound consort. We belong to each other. No one can break us apart. I’m tired of hiding. Aren’t you?”
She was ashamed to say not. In truth, the constant threat of discovery made each encounter more frantic and delicious—but she accepted Luko’s decision because discovery was inevitable. Better to reveal themselves than be revealed, especially since Ana’s parents were also ignorant of what their daughter had done. Tero and cousin Marko knew, but Poppi’s disapproval of anything more than kinship between Analise and Luko had made subterfuge imperative.
Reading her face, Luko kissed her fingers once more. “I will speak with Poppi Jarkko. I’ll beg his forgiveness, then swear on my life that his little she-wolf will not suffer for choosing me. When Noni is dead, you will be my queen. While she lives—while I live—you are my god.” He sank to his knees as he spoke, running his hands over her hips and down her legs. Ana stared at his crown, at the lustrous golden hair tumbling over his shoulders, and wanted to rip his shirt from his back.
He refused. He took his time, indulging himself with scent and taste and touch, but firmly deflecting her reciprocal attempts. He readied himself by readying her. At some point, Analise surrendered. She submitted to a desire she had not yet met in him; a slow, deliberate, sensuous and sacrosanct ascent that culminated in a glorious burst of sun and stars on the furs before the hearth. She shuddered once, twice. The third brought her up into his arms, mouthing a wordless cry for his ear alone. Only then did he spill, and when he did, Analise felt the heat in her throat.
Nine months later, she remembered.
That was the moment. 

* * *

 She lay on the sleeping furs once more, straining to bear the babe conceived on that stormy summer afternoon. The snow had ceased. Twilight cast a pale and luminous light through the sanctuary window, but the room was too hot. Sweat ran from her temples. Dara dabbed her brow with a cooling cloth while Mami checked the child’s progress.
“Soon,” she said.
Analise sagged back in Dara’s arms. Luko had taken her by the hand and led her down the main stairs to the feast hall that day, announcing by action his decision to everyone present. Analise was his, and judging by the tousled state of hair and clothing, he had laid claim once more during their notable absence. He had carried himself like a king, defying his subjects to find fault with his choice of queen. Few had, from what Ana could recall. His message had not been for the masses, or even for her family. His message had been for Noni—and Noni’s face was what Ana remembered most clearly.
Folk often remarked on the paradox in Irfe’s Daughter exuding such glacial reserve, but above the icy bones and snow-white skin, Analise had seen Fire smoking in Noni’s eyes.
Stupid boy, what have you done!
Within weeks afterward, everything Luko had sworn, all he had promised, and Luko himself, was gone. 

* * *

 Night fell. The intermittent pains became a single gripping, grinding pain that gave no respite except in the briefest pauses. Analise sucked in a quick sharp breath during these pauses, and inevitably released it in a wild rush when the pain resumed at greater strength. Mami bade her to control, without much success. She got Ana to her feet and made her circle the sanctuary perimeter, bracing her on one side while Dara supported the other. Mami was disinclined to idle talk at the best of times; anything more than a brusque command was beyond her now. Analise was similarly preoccupied, but managed a rueful laugh when Dara offered an encouraging remark.
“Just think, Ana. In a very short while, you’ll have a Son of Irfe.”
I once had a Son of Irfe—and he had me.
Mami abruptly left her in Dara’s care. She had not noticed, but voices were audible in the outer room. She looked a question at Dara, who shrugged and made her keep walking.
“Tero is out there, but I’ve no idea who might be with him.”
More than a few, from the muddled discourse she heard though the wood. Mami returned in time to help her daughter down before the hearth. Analise rested on her knees, panting, while the fire was fed and the kettle hung to heat above it. A sudden, clenching agony drove her to all fours. Her mind was just as suddenly calmed.
“Mami, I think—”
She was right. Between them, Mami and Dara eased her into position. She pulled in a deep breath and pushed, baring her teeth but making no sound. Blood roared in her ears and sparks flew before her closed eyes. Mami said something she could not hear. It did not matter. She felt the babe dislodge from her womb. The pain altered from grinding to tearing as the passage stretched to make way. Analise drew a final, quavering breath and heaved with all her might. The effort nearly brought her to her feet, but once the babe’s head was clear, she collapsed against Dara as the last vestiges of strength drained with him from her body. 

* * *

Bruised and misshapen, he was the most beautiful thing his mother had ever seen. Mami proudly pronounced him the image of his sire at birth, as lean as Luko had been, with the same manly promise of height and breadth in his chest and shoulders. But he was not golden. His fine baby hair gleamed silver in the firelight, wafting gently in the pulsing heat. And his eyes, like all newborn babes’, were a rich, midnight blue.
“His father’s were the same,” Mami assured her with a smile. She kissed Ana’s forehead with firm, cool lips. “Well done, my girl. Oh, well done.”
Analise smiled amid a rush of tears. The smile soon succumbed to sobs, and she held her babe as her mother held her, weeping for a future at once lost and regained.
 
* * *

 She slept. A night as starry as her infant son’s eyes spread wide overhead. Mixed smells of spruce and new grass tickled her senses. Cool wind breathed at her back and a warm breeze danced ahead, running thin with no mountains to contain it. The dulcet beauty was no comfort to one raised in rugged terrain; heartsick with longing, she stared into the unfamiliar sky and watched the stars splinter into shards.
Luko.
He blinked and the stars reassembled. Did he dare? To what end, for what good? To let her know he was living, if not alive? Why torment himself? Why torment her?
I love you.
Nothing more. 

* * *

 She toyed with names but nothing fit, and helpful suggestions from her few visitors were no help at all. Mami thought to name him for Poppi. Tero brashly suggested naming him for his uncle. Dara thought his sire’s name both more appropriate and a blow to the dissidents who agreed with Noni that her grandson could not have fathered Ana’s babe. After her dream on the night of his birth, Ana rejected that notion with unexpected vehemence.
Rikka surprised them all by stopping in despite Noni’s order that the rooms be avoided. Trembling near tears, she ventured over the threshold and abruptly balked. She would have fled had her intended husband not appeared at her back and encouraged her to stay; a quirky fellow with bushy brows and an owlish demeanour, Jere’s Osmo was the last man anyone would have picked to wed Luko’s imposing twin sister, but Rikka heeded him without habitual argument. She followed him into the sanctuary, remaining distant while he paid proper homage to the new arrival. He was so congenial that Analise offered to let him hold the babe.
He politely declined, claiming himself too clumsy with so fragile a treasure. “Have you a name for him?” he asked.
“Not ‘Luko’,” Rikka blurted from her corner.
Her adamant dismissal nearly changed Ana’s mind. A patient count to ten curbed the impulse. Glaring at Rikka, she agreed. “Not ‘Luko’.”
“It wouldn’t be right,” Rikka added, though further explanation was plainly unnecessary.
Osmo wagged his funny brows. “The tribute is reserved for our own son,” he confided to Analise. “Cousins bearing the same name would cause too much confusion.”
“Cousins!” Rikka exclaimed, overhearing.
“Of course, my dear. This little fellow is your nephew, after all.”
If Osmo believed it, Rikka could hardly disagree, yet Noni’s stance made acceptance impossible for anyone close to her. Analise was moved to pity; caught between opposing opinions, Rikka was immobilized. After a moment’s frenzied contemplation, she found a viable excuse for her behaviour.
“Osmo, to speak of a son is unseemly before the wedding.”
Analise disregarded the insult because Rikka was too wrought to have meant it. Instead, she attempted to put her son’s aunt at ease. “Come and say ho,” she suggested. “Is that not why you came?”
Rikka gulped, wringing her hands. She stayed in place by the door.
“You may tell Analise, my dear,” Osmo coaxed. “She, of all people, will understand.”
A single tear trickled over a brazen cheekbone. Rikka ignored it. She stepped forward, her eye drawn inexorably to the bundle in Ana’s arms. Her voice was so low that Ana had to lean in to hear it.
“I came … because I miss him.”
Osmo was right. Analise did understand. She smiled and put out a hand to Luko’s twin. Rikka hesitated, then gratefully accepted the gesture. 

To be continued …