There's a Penguin in My Tree

Actually, there are a lot of penguins in this tree. In fact, there are only penguins in this tree. The red balls don’t count; they’re in place to provide contrast to all the black and white.

I’ve collected penguins for years. I’m unsure when it started; it seems I’ve always been a fan of the flightless bird. Maybe because they mate for life? Maybe because the Penguin was my favourite Batman baddie? Or maybe it’s because I look at them toddling about on ungainly feet and am reminded of myself when my arthritis was at its worst. At seventeen, my wee sister watched me walking down to the hall and remarked: “You look like a penguin.” To which I replied as Burgess Meredith in the Batman series: “Mwah-mwah-mwah ...” It was funny then and it’s still funny now, but I dunno. Maybe since then, I’ve been a sympathetic admirer.

Ironically, the Pittsburgh Penguins are not my favourite hockey team. (They probably should be, considering how the Flyers are doing in comparison.) People are surprised by it – especially since my office doorstop is named for Pens’ defenseman Brooks Orpik, and is clearly a Pittsburgh fan.

Orpik on guard at the office

In any case, my collection of penguin ornaments eventually grew so large that it threatened to take over the Christmas tree. I mean the big Christmas tree. Everywhere you looked on the 6.5 footer, a penguin looked back. I didn’t mind so much at first, but when branch space became an issue, something had to be done. Two years ago, Ter suggested I start a penguin tree, an idea so brilliant I wish I’d thought of it myself, and we went out to get one. A tabletop model strung with white fairy lights – the perfect setting for my distinguished gaggle of black-tie birds.

We put it up last week. One of three trees in our house, it’s my personal favourite though I can’t imagine why. Mwah-mwah-mwah...