The Company You Keep

Come on, get Happy!

One never knows what one is getting when a new bear joins the household. It’s a bonus that Ter’s critter instinct has never let her down; every bear she’s brought home has been a winner, but it takes time for each unique personality to reveal itself, and the group dynamic often plays a part in what that personality looks like.

Take Cardigan, for instance. He came by way of my Christmas stocking in 2015, so we didn’t meet each other until it was theoretically too late. I looked at him, he looked at me, and nothing immediately happened. I didn’t even know his name until he’d sat in somewhat anxious silence for a few days (they’re almost always anxious at first; after all, they don’t know us, either ... and when I say “us”, I mean “me” because they flock to Ter like kids to the ice cream truck). With his natty scarf and cable-knit coat, he seemed an academic type, shy and introverted. First hint: the smoke detector incident in November 2016 (“Chirping”) freaked him out. To this day, if he sees me put on my coat, he says, “I don’t want the con, Mum.”

Slightly neurotic? Check.

Then he met Basher, which I figured was a good thing because he needed socializing. Besides, a quiet, studious companion might be a good influence on my little goon, who has always been a bit of a thug. Flyer fan, you know.

Well, Basher nicknamed him “Nerdy”, at which he took mild offense until he realized Basher isn’t that bright and didn’t mean to be mean. Now he’s okay with it. Anyone else calling him “Nerdy”, however, gets a reprimand.

Even if it’s his mother.

Cardie’s time with Basher is determined by the number of Flyer games on TV, as he resides in the living room and Basher is a bedroom bear. This means Cardigan spends a lot of time by himself—and as anyone who spends too much time alone can tell you, it messes with your head. While Cardie retained his sweetness, his shyness intensified and his neurotic tendencies became more evident. He stayed in his spot and didn’t want to stray, and while he seemed okay with being alone during the day, he worried incessantly that Ter and I wouldn’t be home before dark. Not a problem in summer. In winter, he was really bothered. I started to wonder if he might need professional help.

Then Happy Livewell arrived. He came to us last winter, as part of a Christmas present for Ter, but I think he’s been more of a gift to Cardigan. Happy immediately felt at home in the living room. He staked out his spot near the window, and one day asked Ter who the little blond guy was sitting under the lamp. She brought him over and introduced him to Cardigan.

Now the pair are inseparable. Every morning, Happy comes to hang out with Cardie while Ter and I are at work. They watch TV together in the evening. Happy is so cheerful and optimistic that Cardigan has finally begun to relax. He’s even cracked a couple of jokes! Happy always laughs at them, but his constant good humour has boosted Cardie’s confidence to the point where my little guy occasionally sasses me! He’s come out of his shell, and is so much healthier and happier with his new best friend than he was when he was his own best friend.

I think people are the same. Why not build positive, nurturing relationships rather than negative and needy ones? Remember, a single candle throws a whole lotta light. Don’t imagine for an instant that your attitude has no effect on others. It does. You can lift someone up as sure as someone else can bring you down—and if you spend too much time in your own head, that little voice will work its sinister magic and convince you the world is a hostile, lonely place. It is, and it isn’t. A lot of it depends on the company you keep.

With love,