In My Own Way

Despite my recent decision to focus exclusively on writing Reijo’s romance, I’ve been unable to proceed. Yes, I’ve been sick, the Olympics were on, work continues to interfere with everything etc., but those are all excuses and pathetic ones at that (okay, maybe not the being sick one; nothing in life got done while I was down with the cold/flu). Plus, I had written the romance into a corner and writing out of it was tedious, time consuming, and not altogether satisfying. It’s a weak link, but I can fix it in revisions and at least the story is back on the road again.

Next obstacle? I write a scene in my head first, then I transcribe it. In this instance, I know where the character is going, just not how he’s going to get there ... or, rather, what happens to him before he gets there. Truly, I don’t want anything to happen to him because he’s been through enough, thanks very much, and the journey in this scene this is supposed to be a happy one. I really, truly, deeply, do not want to write a scene that delays his path to his beloved ... so I have written nothing. Nothing. Nada. I got sick, I watched the Olympics, I went to work, and when my thoughts turned toward Reijo’s ride through the woods, I almost felt the wall go up. I was not going there, no way, no how. I even manipulated Professor Ekkles and told myself that “writing just isn’t meant to happen right now”. I had no interest, no inclination, nothing. Not a block, per se, just ... nothing.

Then Sting enlightened me.

Ter and I caught him on Great Performances, playing songs from The Last Ship before the show opens on stage next summer. I particularly enjoy his little stories about how songs come about, and the experience of building a Broadway musical from scratch. He told one tale about a character named Arthur, who is partly autobiographical and therefore one of his favourites. Turns out the rest of the team didn’t share his affection for the old guy. They suggested that Arthur be replaced by a younger rival for the female lead’s affections. Well, Sting was crushed. He accepted the decision, but he was deeply unhappy about it. He talked about moping around for a bit, wrestling with his ego and so forth, then he—and I quote—“got out of my own way”. He decided to create a song for the new character. He didn’t want to, he admitted he hated the guy, but he gave it a shot and the song was born.

On hearing that story, I thought about my “problem” with Reijo and realized I was doing the same darned thing! I want him to arrive on cue at his beloved’s side, his progress unimpeded by drama or disaster, yet knowing that ain’t gonna happen has rendered me unable to write anything at all. I’ve been my own obstacle.

I have been in my own way.

Since that little revelation (thank you, der Stinglehoefer), I have stepped aside and let Reijo know that I’m listening—and he’s coming through! Neither is the delay as heinous as I feared it might be; yes, he’ll be late for dinner with his prospective in-laws, but at least he’ll arrive safe and in one piece. Gee, if only I’d relaxed and let him tell me before I shot head first into a writer’s block, I could have saved myself a little extra grief.

It’s a good life lesson. Get out of your way and watch what happens!