Seek and Ye Shall Find

One day Ter spoke to me from the kitchen. “You may have noticed the box of little meat pies in the freezer.”

I hadn’t, so without looking up from my crossword, I replied, “I don’t look on the upper shelf.”

“It’s not on the upper shelf,” she said. “It’s on the lower shelf, with your tea treats.”

Wait a minute. That’s my go-to shelf, where Ziploc bags of cookies, tarts, brownies and muffins are stacked one atop the other. I go in there twice a day, yet I had seen no box of little meat pies.

I finally looked up at her, puzzling. “Under the pizza crust?”

“No,” she said patiently, “on top of the muffins.”

I had taken out a muffin for breakfast the previous day. You would think I’d have noticed a sizeable box of little meat pies, but nope. I hadn’t.

I can’t even say that was a one-off. A week or two earlier, I’d spied a box of apple cinnamon Cheerios next to the box of originals on top of the fridge and asked Ter when she had bought it.

“Two days ago,” she said.

I’d eaten a bowl of originals that morning and not seen the bright green box standing beside the bright yellow one? Really? Really?

If I’m not looking for it, apparently I won’t see it. This applies to more than meat pies and cereal boxes, incidentally. In this era of extreme hyper-sensitivity (hyper-hyper-sensitivity?), eventually someone somewhere will take offense at something you say or do. Some folks are so touchy that they’ll even take offense on behalf of others, without consulting those others, by the way, but merely on the presumption that others might be offended if they knew what had been said or done. The self-appointed PC police go digging for titbits to be offended about, then spread the word. People get upset about things they had no idea existed. Sometimes that’s good. We must be aware of what we can change for the betterment of all. At its worst, however, it’s petty, destructive, frustrating, unproductive, or just plain stupid.

Which brings me to my point:

Taking offense is a choice. If I’m not looking to be offended, insulted or pissed off, chances are I won’t be offended, insulted or pissed off. I admit, personal circumstances can make me more sensitive than usual—being human is a tougher gig than any of us imagined when we signed up for it—but in the long run, the decision to be offended is mine, no matter what the perpetrator’s intent.

Forget ignorance. Oblivion is bliss.