Butterflies and Hummingbirds

Apparently, my mother liked to watch hummingbirds. She put sugar water in the feeder on her patio and throughout the spring and summer, the little gaffers showed up in droves to get hyped on empty calories. When my sisters and I cleared out her room last March, a Christmas ornament in the shape of a hummingbird lay on her dresser. It now lies on the end table next to her photo in the Ocean Room. Yes, I pinched it and now, whenever I see a hummingbird, I think of Mum.

When she passed away a year ago this very day, butterflies were everywhere. ’Twas the season, after all – summer had just begun and the world was bright with life in all its vibrant glory. What a magical time she chose in which to make her transition. In many cultures, butterflies and hummingbirds symbolize transformation, whether it’s a massive change in this life or moving from this one to the next. I suppose it’s natural to see significance in a hummingbird hovering outside the window when Mum has been the subject of conversation, or to startle at a butterfly flitting over the lavender bush a heartbeat after she’s crossed my mind. Some might call it coincidence, but I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe in our ability to transcend dimensions with a thought. I think of Mum and she is here. I may not see her, I may not even feel her presence ... until I glance through the window and see that tiny bird pausing just long enough to catch my eye and make me wonder.

With love,

Road Markers

So isn’t it a little eerie that my first F***book “like” as Ruth R. Greig/Writer is Anne Rice/Public Figure, and on the morning of my “liking” her page, the first post I see on my newsfeed is a Happy Birthday to Michael York?

If I believe in coincidence, it’s by another name. Life is full of indicators, little signs that you’re on the right track. That’s how I feel about this FB project “coinciding” with my recent intention to make a career of my writing, which “coincided” with my return to reading the Vampire Chronicles, which put me back in touch with Anne Rice, which has “coincidentally” reminded me of how it all began with Yorkie.

Full circle? Hardly—though it seems that the components sprinkled throughout my development have reappeared at this juncture. It’s good to remember where you started. It’s good to recall the people and the moments that shaped your future. It’s good to look back and see how you got here.

Seeing Yorkie’s face on Ms. Rice’s FB page felt like a little miracle, a nod from the Universe that all is well and there’s nothing to stop my plan from succeeding. Keep it up, Ru. Keep the intention going. Plan like success is inevitable. Get yourself together and watch it unfold. Cherish the reminders, face the challenges (there will be some) and most of all stay out of your own way!

Throughout my life, I’ve had friends and family behind me, encouraging me, supporting me, telling me to get off my duff and make something of my passion. Truth is, I wasn’t ready to make it so. I lacked confidence and direction, and quite frankly, motivation. I didn’t believe that I could make a living by doing something that I love. Lots of people have done it, but not me. Nope, I’d have to stick with the day job if I wanted to pay the bills, and so I did. It’s taken me this long to build enough self-esteem to stand up and declare that I am a writer, that I’m a darned good writer, and that I deserve to be successful at it. I’ve been practicing from the age of fourteen, after all, when I fell in love with Yorkie and first read Interview with the Vampire.

How appropriate that these two vital points in my past appear now, together, as I prepare to step off the edge of the world. Coincidence? What do you think?