Anywhere But Here

Rough week, last week. Anxieties to address, disruptions to endure, and a rock-your-world for Ter when she was “asked” to give up her office and move (again) to a cubicle at work. That day was the worst, not because she was particularly attached to her office, but because we are all human and change of any ilk is always upsetting—even when it turns out for the best which, in this case, it has.

Before it all turned out, however, and while she worked through her human, the world was a gloomy place. I struggle with my Zen in these moments, torn between believing that all will be well and feeling like the fool on the hill for believing that all will be well. You know, even when things are not okay, you are okay. I am no Pollyanna; I can get as dark and sarcastic as the most miserable cynic. I just choose to seek light in that dark.

Sometimes, though, it’s hard. Sometimes, I don’t even want to try. I just want to lie on the side of the road and let the world go by.

On the worst morning, ahead of a dental appointment I’d been dreading for months, I asked myself where I wanted to be.

Anywhere but here, I thought.

In the next beat, my little voice reminded me that I couldn’t be anywhere but here, so I’d better man up and deal with it. I can’t say it made me feel better. In truth, I wanted to cry because the truth hurts and the truth is that each of us is always Here. In this moment, with neither past nor future, we can only ever be in the present. Good or bad, peaceful or painful, all we have is the moment we’re in right now. Wishing to be elsewhere won’t change it. Nothing you can do will change it. Nope, we’re stuck with right here, right now, so you know what? Make the best of it. Choose how you will live it. If the best you can do is grit your teeth and endure it, do so, but while you’re enduring it, hold fast to another truth: this moment, like all the moments gone before and still to come, will pass. A new moment will replace it, and in that new moment awaits a chance for something better.

Ter is happy in her new space.

My dental appointment was uneventful.

The week is over and we both survived.

Hallelujah.

With love,