The Daily Mood

Guess what? I’ve discovered that if I miss the seventeen second window on waking, I can still determine how my day will go by consciously choosing my mood when I get to work.

Ter gave me this hilarious item for Christmas—a little flip chart of “mood possibilities” with emoticon visuals. To get maximum use of it, I brought it to the office and have consulted it every weekday since. I’ll get my morning tea and, while my computer boots, I’ll peruse the pages with one question in mind: What’s my mood?

I’m already in one when I get to work, of course. It’s not always good, but it’s usually better than my default on waking (I miss that window a lot) because I may like my job, but it’s not my bliss and who wants to get up early for something less? The receptionist where I once worked could read someone’s state of mind on sight, without exchanging a word. It became a joke between us. I’d walk in and ask her, “How’s my vibe today?” She’d either nod, shake her head, or wag her hand in the yea/nay gesture, and the tone for my day would be set.

She was right ninety-nine percent of the time.

Fast forward to Now. I’m at my desk, flipping through my options. So far this year, I’ve been Addled, Borderline, Bouncy, Chill, Dreamlike, Fabulous, Hunky-Dory, Overstimulated, Rockin’, Rushed, Scattered, Splendid, and Wonky. I’d like not to repeat myself, but I can’t bring myself to admit when I might feel Apathetic, Cantankerous, Maniacal, Neglected, Non-Essential, Redundant, or Subversive … except for one day at the end of January, when our office manager innocently asked me ahead of my decision how I was doing that morning.

I silently flashed the card for Grouchy.

She gave me wide eyes and retreated a pace. “Ohhh …”

“But it’s okay,” I assured her. “It won’t last.”

It rarely does. Acknowledging my crappy mood will often make it disappear, like a petulant child who just wants a pat on the head before running off to play by herself. Even if I suspect I’m closer to the Dark Side of a morning, if I hesitate on one of the more negative options, I will hesitate again by asking myself if I really want to be in a crummy mood for all to see.

I do not.

Since then, our office manager will pause at my door when she comes in, and I will proudly flash whatever card I’ve chosen for the day.

It’s become a happy ritual.

Happy Feet

Be it sugar, chemicals, fatigue, or a combination of all three, my frame of mind has hung a little crooked this weekend. I woke up well enough this morning, but it didn’t take long for my mind to seize those 17 seconds and drive me to the brink of tears over unfounded fear and imagined obstacles. It’s nothing if not thorough in its anticipation of the worst.

Fortunately, Ter was on an even keel when I got up. We had our tea and a little discuss of plans for the day, then I had a tiny meltdown. She got me through it with sympathy and a reminder to set aside those prevalent thoughts of the car blowing up or my teeth falling out. Neither thing is likely to happen, and certainly not right at this moment, so let it go for now and stay focused on what’s real.

I love her for that. I love her for many things, actually, but her ability to steady me when I falter may be the most valuable commodity not on the market.

So, after being shored up, I chose these socks despite (or perhaps because of?) the fact that their flaming neon colours clash madly with my jeans and Def Leppard hoodie. Ter happened on me in the living room, and laughed out loud when she saw my feet on the coffee table. “I’m glad to see you wearing such cheerful socks,” she said.

“Yeah,” I replied, wriggling my toes, “they make me happy.”

And so does she.

Carpe Diem

There is a brief space between sleeping and waking when you are neither your dreams nor your thoughts. You are yourself. The space is neutral, utterly devoid of memory or anticipation, and if you recognize that space, you can use it to set the tone for your day.

In that neutral space, before you remember the fight you had with your spouse or the stupid staff meeting you must attend at 2:00 p.m., you can gain a foothold in the mood of your choice:

“I will fill my day with (insert here).”

Think it. Say it. The sentiment is energy, and energy attracts like energy. If you can sustain a thought for 17 seconds, it will attract a similar, more detailed thought. Sustain that thought for another 17 seconds, and a third, even more powerful step is taken toward managing the day. Positive breeds positive, negative breeds negative. Pick one and watch the blooming result. You don’t wake up in a mood; you wake up and remember something that ignites your mood.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

When I first heard of this “neutral space”, I decided to look for it myself. My first attempt was pretty successful: I opened my eyes, saw the space and promptly filled it with, “I will fill my day with joy and love.” Then I fell back asleep and dreamed of puppies.

Okay, starting while on vacation made it easier to choose joy and creativity over resentment and dissatisfaction, and I admit that I went down in flames on returning to work, but I scored some momentum during my time off. Granted, being awakened by the alarm sends me straight to the swear jar; however, I have learned to catch myself before the downslide gets perpendicular. I tell myself, “Whoa, stop!” That kills the momentum so I can regain control of my thoughts. I’m teaching myself to start each day with “I will fill my day with …” It’s still easier on weekends, but I’m gaining some momentum for the workweek.

So you had a fight with your spouse. That stupid staff meeting will go ahead. How you decide to resolve the inevitable is up to you, but truly, why would anyone knowingly choose to be in a bad mood? It only makes life harder, and life happens anyway.