“At
school I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. I
was told I didn’t understand the assignment, so I told them they didn’t
understand life.” – John Lennon
George
was my favourite Beatle, but I admired John for his honesty, his humanity, and
his perspicacity.
Recently,
my father asked me if I am happy. Without missing a beat, I said, “Yes.”
He
looked a bit dubious that I had understood so gently added, “Because you’re not
living the traditional feminine life.”
To
which I replied, “I think that’s why I’m happy.”
We
both laughed, but maybe I wasn’t kidding. I don’t know if I would be as happy
in the traditional feminine role of wife and mother as I am right now – but
it’s certainly possible. Happy as I am with this unforeseen gig, my plan is to
stay that way. That’s not to say my life must remain the same. It means that I
intend to be happy no matter where my journey takes me.
Of
course, it’s not all blissfully sublime. Truth is, everyone’s life sucks at
some point. That’s the way life rolls.
Stormy
Weather
singer Lena Horne once said, “It’s not the load; it’s the way you carry it.”
I’m
lucky. Really lucky. I live in a country where I am free to live, think, write,
say and believe what I choose. I can afford rent, food and car payments. I have
a good job and lots of time to pursue my passion. I’m healthy and still have
all my teeth. I should be happy with such good fortune. But I know of
many people in the same situation (or better) who are unhappy.
What’s
with that?
Banal
platitudes drive me crazy, but there is one that really does work for me: count
your blessings. Be grateful for what you have because, sure as shootin’,
everyone has something for which to be grateful. Life itself is a gift, if you
look at it that way.
“There
is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.”
So
said the Buddah. Happiness is often misinterpreted and I may be doing the very
thing myself. When I tell my father that I’m happy, I mean that I am content
and at peace with the moment. It isn’t the case every moment – life ain’t
designed that way and neither am I – but overall, my life is good and I’m happy
living it. There are occasions of both delirious joy and deepest despair, all
part of the spectrum, but I think I’ve grasped the point that Lennon, Horne and
Buddah were trying to make.
“Happy”
isn’t a target or a destination. It’s not wealth or marriage or being
mortgage-free (though it is driving a cool car while listening to Duran
Duran). “Happy” is a state of mind … and it’s possible for everyone.
I’m
lucky. I’m grateful. I’m happy.
In
that order.
