Happy

“At school I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. I was told I didn’t understand the assignment, so I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon

George was my favourite Beatle, but I admired John for his honesty, his humanity, and his perspicacity.

Recently, my father asked me if I am happy. Without missing a beat, I said, “Yes.”

He looked a bit dubious that I had understood so gently added, “Because you’re not living the traditional feminine life.”

To which I replied, “I think that’s why I’m happy.”

We both laughed, but maybe I wasn’t kidding. I don’t know if I would be as happy in the traditional feminine role of wife and mother as I am right now – but it’s certainly possible. Happy as I am with this unforeseen gig, my plan is to stay that way. That’s not to say my life must remain the same. It means that I intend to be happy no matter where my journey takes me.

Of course, it’s not all blissfully sublime. Truth is, everyone’s life sucks at some point. That’s the way life rolls.

Stormy Weather singer Lena Horne once said, “It’s not the load; it’s the way you carry it.”

I’m lucky. Really lucky. I live in a country where I am free to live, think, write, say and believe what I choose. I can afford rent, food and car payments. I have a good job and lots of time to pursue my passion. I’m healthy and still have all my teeth. I should be happy with such good fortune. But I know of many people in the same situation (or better) who are unhappy.

What’s with that?

Banal platitudes drive me crazy, but there is one that really does work for me: count your blessings. Be grateful for what you have because, sure as shootin’, everyone has something for which to be grateful. Life itself is a gift, if you look at it that way.

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.”

So said the Buddah. Happiness is often misinterpreted and I may be doing the very thing myself. When I tell my father that I’m happy, I mean that I am content and at peace with the moment. It isn’t the case every moment – life ain’t designed that way and neither am I – but overall, my life is good and I’m happy living it. There are occasions of both delirious joy and deepest despair, all part of the spectrum, but I think I’ve grasped the point that Lennon, Horne and Buddah were trying to make.

“Happy” isn’t a target or a destination. It’s not wealth or marriage or being mortgage-free (though it is driving a cool car while listening to Duran Duran). “Happy” is a state of mind … and it’s possible for everyone.

I’m lucky. I’m grateful. I’m happy.

In that order.