Glutinous Maximus

Phase Two of my gluten-free existence began this week, with the freezer purge I was emotionally unprepared to do six months ago. It’s one thing to decide not to bring naughty nummies into the house. It’s quite another to discard one’s existing supply.

Phase One began last Easter. I had been chronically suffering from a growing list of minor maladies that included joint aches, mood swings, a sluggish thought process, lethargy, and headaches. The headaches were the worst. I blamed them on chocolate and hormones, but when the bi-weekly migraines became a series of week-long events, Ter took action. She was led to a magazine article about wheat allergies and when she checked the symptoms against mine, she ticked every darned box. By then I was so miserable that I’d try anything. I’d already given up chocolate (to no real avail); no sacrifice could surpass that one on the martyrdom scale. I stopped knowingly consuming anything containing wheat, barley, or rye, and almost immediately began to feel better.

My headaches ceased. My ears unplugged. My thought processor quit grinding and began to operate smoothly. I (mostly) quit dozing at my desk. My joint aches virtually disappeared. So did my second spare tire! Yikes, who knew that giving up sticky buns would be so beneficial?

Not buying new sticky buns was no problem. Tossing the buns in my stash was going to be more difficult. I looked at the collection of full freezer bags and wanted to cry. Taking pity on me, Ter suggested we do it another day.

That day did not happen until this past weekend, but I must have been ready for it. Ter handed me each bag, I checked the contents, closed my eyes, ground my teeth, and discarded. Then I hauled the whole weighty sack down to the garbage and nearly threw my back out getting it into the dumpster. The freezer now has an echo – and more room for ice cream!

Plus, I’m eating chocolate again J

Phase Three is looming and while I have no idea how I’ll get through the fall and winter holidays, I will get through them because I must get through them if I want to maintain the status quo. The greatest loss will be my wee sister’s killer mincemeat tarts. She bakes them for me every Christmas and this year … augh, I’ll whine about that when the time comes.