Be Wonderful

The Fixx recorded a song in the 80s called “Are We Ourselves?”

The short answer? “No.”

Another quote of mysterious origin (I heard it from Don Henley, but am pretty sure it’s not actually his) is, “The older we get, the more we become like ourselves.”

Well, life is a journey, right? We spend the first part of it trying to fit in, to become who we think we must become in order to be accepted by family, peers, superiors, and society as a whole. When we become detached or, worse, isolated; when we fear that we truly are alone and unloved, when we believe ourselves to be stupid or unworthy or useless, bad things happen.

Human things.

We must remember that we are here to be human, to experience contrast, to find our way back to ourselves, and return home with a sack full of lessons learned.

Ter was recently advised by someone who doesn’t know her very well that she is “a little unapproachable.” It wasn’t an accusation; it was more an FYI in case she wasn’t aware of the aura she projects, which is one of aloof reserve. She surprised the person by replying frankly. “I know,” she said. “It’s a weakness. I don’t like it, but I’ve accepted it.” She added that she is half-Scandinavian, which truly does make a difference, but refrained from mentioning her incredible shyness. She has struggled with it for as long as I’ve known her, because it’s not who she really is and, on some level, she knows it.

She is really wonderful.

So am I.

So are you.

Every one of us is wonderful. A lot of us have fallen out of touch with that wonder, but it’s still there. Seems I’ve spent a whole lot of years discovering who I truly am, but what I’m actually doing is rediscovering myself. I’ve had to release a bunch of learned behaviours and marginal ideas, but it turns out they were only holding me back, so who needs ’em?

This doesn’t mean I’ll be rich and/or famous one day. Genuine success isn’t measured in dollars and internet “hits”. It’s in discovering your true self and in being happy with who you really are.

Scary thought, eh? Imagine, spending time alone with no social media, family, series marathons or work issues to distract you from your own company. Yikes. How do you survive face time with a stranger?

Do something nice for yourself. Take a walk along the water. Buy yourself an ice cream on a cold day. Go to a movie that you, but no one you know, wants to see. Take a bubble bath by candlelight.

Most importantly, brook no internal criticism. When that snarky inside voice starts nagging you, tell it to shut up. You’ll never convince it that it’s wrong, so it’s better to ignore it. Better yet, beat it at its own game. When it says, “You’re an idiot”, counter with “Maybe, but I am also loved.” Eventually, you will drop the “Maybe” part because you won’t believe it anymore (and it was never true in the first place).

You are unique and magical and wonderful. I know it. The Universe knows it. Deep down, you know it, too. So just sit quietly for a moment. Close your eyes. Breathe in and out in equal measure. In, out, in, out. Your mind will jitter a little, but that’s okay. Pay it no attention. Focus on this instead:

I am loved.

I am safe.

I am wonderful.

Because you are.

With love,