Spelchek

My command of the English language is pretty good for someone who didn’t attend college or university. It might even surpass that of someone who did attend college or university—based on what I’ve seen in writing from folks who have important-looking letters trailing after their names, I feel fairly confident in saying this.

My favourite comedian, the late David Brenner, claimed to be a notoriously bad speller. On being caught in a written mistake, he asked his grade school teacher how the word was correctly spelled. She said, “Look it up.” He replied, “How can I look it up if I don’t know how it’s spelled?”

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

I spell better by hand than I do when typing. Most of my errors are committed by typo—and some of them have been beauties. Drop the “l” in “public”, for example, and you get enough shaming to be extra-diligent for the rest of your life, especially in a professional environment.

Then there’s the “US vs UK” dilemma that has resulted in my turning off the spell checker in every computer I’ve ever used. It’s hardly an act of dare-devilment, either. I know people who run the program and still make mistakes.

My eagle-eyed mother caught a spelling gaffe in a very recent post. I’ve fixed it, so if you missed it the first time, don’t go looking now. But I fear for the future of proper English as a written language. Hypocrite that I am, for I use modern spelling compared to that employed by Samuel Pepys, and his spelling would have been atrocious compared to Shakespeare’s, I cleave to the spelling I learned in elementary school. If I’m dating myself by spelling “colour” instead of “color” or “all right” instead of “alright”, then sow bee it.